I want to be happy.

It just hurts is all.

Everything thing we had is now gone because of one stupid mistake. Now I realize you were never worth it. My daddy told me real men stay, regardless. I guess we were never meant to be. But what I really hate is that you blame me for everything. That I was the reason we never talked? I always had to have a friend around? I guess it’s all my fault. But it’s not my fault you chose to end it all. I know I said no to taking you back. But if you really loved me, you wouldn’t have left because you didn’t “fit in”. So I guess this is me saying goodbye. You weren’t worth any of it.

I’m back to the part where life is a dread.

Can you relate? You sit in your towel after a shower because you’re too lazy to get dressed. You and your best friend can say one word, and crack up. You hate when one string of your hoodie is longer than the other. You hate it when people think you like someone when you clearly don’t. You hate it when your favorite song comes on, as you pull into the driveway. You feel like if you turn on the lights, you will be safe from anything. You push those little buttons on the lids of fast-food drinks. You laugh until people get hurt, then stop when you realize it’s serious. You hate it when parents get serious about something funny you tell them. You hate when you tell a guy to shut up and they copy you in a higher voice. You pretend to sleep when your parents come in. You text the person next to you things that you can’t say out loud. You hate when people in front of you walk really slow and you can’t get past them. You’re always tired no matter how much sleep you get. You stop the microwave before it hits 00:00 to avoid hearing the beeps. You use the “sup” head nod. You just did the nod after you read it. You hate when you are mad at someone and they make you laugh. You check the fridge every ten seconds to see if food magically appeared.

I don’t think you could have explained me any better.